Art of God

What is the opportunity of being in relationship with others as only who you are?

It's the opportunity of anything to happen :) A fairy tale, where magic happens around every corner and all we have to do to create what we want is to decide to do so!

Because there are no limits, no restrictions. Not for us, not for anyone.

How do we change reality? How do we get rid of a system we don't support? A president we don't like? A way of being we disagree with? How do we change the world?

I just had a stray thought, it hit me so hard that I run to my computer abandoning the laundry I was doing at them moment, to write it down before it escaped me. It went something like this:

We all, more or less, agree that the world needs changing. One way or another. There are bad guys out there doing bad things that need to be stopped, good guys doing good things that need to be supported.

Why are we here? What is the reason? What is the purpose? What are we supposed to do, now that we are alive?

As I walked in the evening, few days ago, I thought about the space I'm in when I create my designs and compositions. I am a designer but I don't have design books, magazines, snippets with ideas that I look to for inspiration. I am a web designer but I don't look at websites much, I don't track what other designers do, I don't know the newer "design trends". My workspace has only a computer and a monitor on it.

I walk around at night lately. It is amazing how reality changes - humans and their creations are asleep, nature is all-encompasingly present.

I find that I become wild, naturally and spontaneously, at night. I feel the presence of trees and plants as tangibly and clearly as the presence of a human being and I belong there. I am part of it, I am at home.

It changes when I come inside, mind's structures becomes more pronounced, thoughts spin around and take over. The sense of wildness fades away.

I just went through a most wonderful process, though it certainly didn't feel wonderful as I was going through it ...

I sat at my computer talking to my friend, and all of a sudden got a sickly, nasty feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had this feeling quite a bit lately, it would cause me to collapse, then I would work through it, come back to myself only to collapse again a moment later and come back to myself again...

I felt I was doing much better today, hoped the trauma was worked through, healed and over with, so when it showed up again I panicked. I could not deal with it by myself, I thought, I couldn't reach Brooks, I was scared, confused, lost ... and then I realized that there is nothing else I can do but to deal with it myself.

After a spectacular series of falls and collapses Brooks told me: "Open as who you are in your body. You have to be present in your body, if you are not - you are not really here. Not really present in this reality."

My first thought at hearing this piece of wisdom was "o f..k!" (it's not polite to use swear words in blogs, I know, but no lesser word would quite express my reaction).

I have done all I could to not be in my body for as long as I can remember. My body was slapped, molested and otherwise abused when I was a child, I tried to starve it when I grew up, and when I started on my "spiritual journey" I made sure to pick a practice that would leave a little loophole for me and allow me to ignore my body and have everything happen in my mind.