Art of God

Observing different realities is what I've been doing a lot lately. As I'm thinking about my book, working on what it is I want to say exactly, thinking through all my ideas and concepts, it seems that everything comes down to knowing who we are? Another way to say the same thing is: knowing what reality we are creating? What we are doing, how we act, what we want, I believe is all a result of who we believe we are and what we believe reality is like.

I know what Sarah Palin's reality is like, for example. She expressed it in her acceptance speech. She said: "Terrorist states are seeking nuclear weapons without delay (...) Al-Qaida terrorists still plot to inflict catastrophic harm on America (...) This world of threats and dangers is not just a community, and it doesn't just need an organizer." What a terrible place to live in, I thought as I listened to her speech. What a scary, dangerous space the reality must be if this is how she sees it.

I have been married for nearly 8 years now, and for most of those years I was trying to find out why. Why was I married? If I remove the need factor, the fear of life factor, the need to be supported factor, the need to be safe, protected, taken care of, as well as the need to be a mother, then what is left?

If I am God, complete and unique, fully responsible for my own reality, perfectly autonomous and independent - then what do I need a husband for?

I have a friend who is in a serious amount or marriage-trouble. She and her husband are so deeply in conflict that they can hardly open their mouth in the same room without starting a fight. There is so much resentment, anger and pain between them that it seems absolutely irreparable. It seems that all they can do to save their sanity is to run away from each other as soon as possible.

I received a comment on my post about changing the world. The post stated, more or less, that modifying the system might not be the answer, rather we can simply decide to not be controlled by it. The comment said: "You must be massively rich and do not have to work with any "little" people; one cannot get much freer than that!"

I thought about this for quite a while. I considered it. I looked at my life. It wasn't an act of thinking as much as letting the thoughts flow and whirl in my mind, hoping something will emerge. Here is what emerged:

I had an epiphany last night. After years of working with Brooks, after graduating from his program, after countless private sessions, after all the years I spent on sitting in zazen before I met Brooks, I finally got the most basic, most fundamental, most obvious really, lesson that Brooks teaches. Talk about slow learners!